Holiday Weight Management, Perfectionism, and People Pleasing
Average holiday weight gain from Thanksgiving through the New Year is around 1-2 pounds, with some people maintaining their weight and others gaining much more. Weight management this time of year may be less about avoiding holiday foods and more about personality traits that make setting boundaries difficult.
Our goal is to help you navigate the season confidently by building self-trust and setting boundaries that help you maintain your health habits, no matter what arises.
Keep reading as we explore:
- How to prioritize weight loss management with holiday food everywhere
- Personality traits that affect holiday weight gain
- What is perfectionism?
- What is people pleasing?
- How to say no
- How to set boundaries
- Maintaining nutrition and health habits
Let’s make the holidays about the holidays and not food fear!
How to Prioritize Weight Management Amidst Seasonal Pressures
With so many events, temptations, and changes to your routine, the holidays are ripe for letting health habits slide. If you don’t want that to happen this year, you must have a solid plan and mindset.
Spend some time thinking about your goals for the next month and what obstacles might get in the way of sticking to your weight management program. Then, gather some strategies from this article to help you learn how to say no and prioritize yourself.
Personality Traits and Holiday Weight Gain
If you have a hard time prioritizing yourself during the holidays, you likely have the same tendencies all year long; they may just be more apparent or more challenging this time of year. People-pleasing and perfectionism can make holiday weight management particularly challenging.
Perfectionism and Overcommitting
Perfectionism definition:
Perfectionism is a personality trait in which people set exceedingly high standards for themselves and strive for flawlessness. Perfectionists may be overly self-critical.
We often say “perfectionism is the enemy of progress.” When striving to make everything the best, you may miss the benefits of “good enough” that allow for progress over time. There may also be the tendency not to trust that anyone else can do something as well as you, which leads to overcommitting during the holidays.
Impact on Sleep, Exercise, and Healthy Eating
Perfectionism and anxiety often go together. The internal pressure that perfectionists impose is a significant source of stress, and it can impact nutrition, exercise, sleep, and other lifestyle habits they want to build and maintain. These are the foundational aspects of weight loss and management.
Overcoming perfectionism isn’t going to happen all at once, but the holidays are an excellent time to practice self-compassion, focus on self-care, and how to politely say no.
People Pleasing and Difficulty Saying No
People pleaser definition: Someone with a people pleaser personality has an emotional need to please others, often at the expense of themselves. Like perfectionists, they might have difficulty saying no and experience stress from overcommitting and their people-pleasing behavior.
If you are a people-pleaser, you can practice saying no and setting boundaries over the holidays so you can stick with your weight goals. You won’t stop people-pleasing altogether, but you can begin to practice small ways that allow you to prioritize your needs before the wants of others.
How to Say No to Social Invites
With so many social gatherings over the holidays, saying no to some opens space for you to enjoy the events you genuinely love and keep your health commitments to yourself.
When you receive an invite, give yourself time to think about it instead of answering “yes” immediately. You can say, “let me check my calendar and get back to you.”
For the events you wish to decline, here are some lines to try:
- “Thank you so much for the invitation. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to make it this time.”
- “That sounds like fun, I can’t make it but please ask me again!”
- “Thanks so much for thinking of me, but I’m committed to my 10 pm bedtime routine. Would you like to join me for a walk on Saturday morning?”
How to Say No to Holiday Food
Saying no to food is another challenge over the holidays. Most people have a coworker or a family member who pushes food on them. It can be easy to give, even if the food doesn’t make you feel well, you aren’t hungry, or it isn’t something you really want. It’s helpful to practice some responses (or white lies) ahead of time:
- “No, thank you.”
- “That looks delicious, but I’m stuffed.
- “I already tried some, and it was wonderful.”
- “I’m working with a nutritionist and being selective right now.”
Strategies for Setting Boundaries During the Holidays
Boundary setting is making your limits known and sticking to the line. People-pleasers and perfectionists may struggle with setting boundaries, which can impact how they manage weight. During the holidays, you can set boundaries with relationships, holiday party food, and your time. Boundaries are another tool for prioritizing yourself over others.
Learning to Say No
We’ve already discussed this boundary, and it’s a good one to start with! However, it can be hard, and you might feel icky when you start to say no, especially if it disappoints others. Like everything, it takes practice. Start by giving yourself permission to say no to food you don’t want and events you don’t want to attend.
Prioritizing Self-Care
Maintaining some level of routine throughout the holidays supports weight maintenance. You might need to shift things somewhat but try to prioritize self-care most of the time.
Determine what habits are non-negotiable (breakfast, 10 pm bedtime, daily steps, etc.) and fill those pieces in first. You can also schedule self-care blocks of time or days over the holidays to have some downtime and relax.
Boundary-Setting in Social Situations
Setting boundaries in relationships and social situations can be trickier but may be necessary to help manage stress and meet your needs this time of year. You might decide that you no longer want to host a big gathering and be responsible for all the food or don’t want to travel to your in-laws and prefer a quieter holiday at home.
The key is to communicate the boundary clearly and stick to it when you get pushback.
Maintaining Healthy Habits
You’ve likely worked all year to put good habits in place and are seeing changes in your body and how you feel. Sustaining this over the next month when temptations are high is not impossible, you just need to make it a priority and figure out what’s getting in your way. It’s time to not let perfectionism and people pleasing come before your health goals and habits.
Healthy Eating Strategies
Nutritious eating during the holidays might look like 80 percent of the time choosing nourishing, whole foods that make you feel good. The other 20 percent of the time, give yourself permission to eat for pleasure and enjoyment of the season. This split might be a bit more liberal than what you follow while losing weight (such as 90/10), but it is likely sufficient for maintaining weight while still meeting your body’s nutrient needs.
This 80/20 strategy isn’t perfect, but it’s a practice of “good enough.” It’s also more supportive than falling completely off your plan and trying to make up for it in January.
Staying Rested
Sleep is often one of the first things to go during a busy holiday season, but remember that sleep is foundational for weight management, and you deserve to make it a priority. When sleep is poor or you don’t get enough, hunger is higher, energy is lower for planning and cooking, and eating more calories and sugar is easier.
Prioritize your sleep by following good sleep hygiene practices, saying no to events that conflict with your sleep schedule, and being mindful of things that impact sleep (like alcohol and stress.)
Eat Mostly Veggies
Let’s face it: most holiday menus aren’t very veggie-heavy, and vegetables are always a key part of weight maintenance. They are low in calories, but high in fiber and nutrients to provide volume to a meal and promote fullness.
Prioritize vegetables this holiday season by aiming to fill half your plate at each meal (at least 80% of the time!) Meeting this goal could mean bringing a veggie side dish to a meal or gathering, eating a salad before an event, and keeping veggies in the fridge ready for snacking.
Carve Out Time to Connect and Play
Part of the joy of the holidays is connecting with friends and loved ones. While it often isn’t considered a must-have for weight maintenance, social connection is good for your health. It helps lower stress and produce endorphins, which can help with your weight and body composition goals.
With the extra room on your calendar this year, join your kids on the sledding hill, go ice skating, walk around the neighborhood looking at lights, or do whatever playful activities enhance your connections.
Move Everyday
The final strategy we’ll discuss is movement. You already know how important movement is, but getting it in with busy holiday schedules and a calendar full of sedentary events is challenging. In addition to prioritizing exercise and getting to that yoga class or to the gym, think about all the non-exercise ways you can move more:
- Playing with your kids
- Walking around the mall while shopping
- Cooking in the kitchen
- An impromptu dance party after dinner
Count your steps if that works for you, or set a timer to remind yourself to get up and moving at least once per hour. Not only is movement good for your waistline but it can help dampen perfectionism anxiety, too.
This year, prioritize yourself and your health by addressing the personality tendencies that work against your goals. People pleasing and perfectionism may serve you in some circumstances, but not when you are overcommitted and overwhelmed by the holidays. It’s time to start cutting back by saying no and setting boundaries that allow you to maintain your weight (and sanity). If you need support and accountability, Lizzy Swick Nutrition can help.
References
- Stoeber, J., Madigan, D. J., & Gonidis, L. (2020). Perfectionism is adaptive and maladaptive, but what’s the combined effect? Personality and Individual Differences, 161, 109846.
