How To Lose Weight When Your Partner Is Not Supportive of Your Weight Loss Goals

Weight loss is rarely easy. But having a strong support system is one way to make it easier.

Unfortunately, in some cases, women lack the support in one of their closest relationships: their partner. As much as you love your partner, they may sometimes present more of a roadblock than a help.

Relationships are complicated, and there can be all kinds of reasons your weight loss goals create friction. But the situation isn’t hopeless.

Let’s look at ways you can navigate an unsupportive partner, so your efforts to get healthy can bear fruit. We’ll explore:

  • The benefits of support when losing weight
  • Ways you can set boundaries and stay focused on your goal
  • How to communicate with your partner about weight loss
  • Other ways to get the support you need

Why Support Matters for Weight Loss

When you’re trying to lose weight, it’s tempting to focus solely on WHAT you eat. While your food choices obviously matter, the reality is that your relationship with food and your food environment are significant determinants of weight loss success.

To make those healthy food choices, you need to create an environment and develop a mindset that naturally supports your goals.

The people around you are a key aspect of your food environment. Eating is social. Often one spouse bears the responsibility of planning, shopping, and cooking for the household, which means that their partner’s choices and preferences influence the food in their home.

Research indicates that strong social support can significantly enhance weight loss efforts. (1) If you create a meal plan for weight loss and your partner isn’t on board, sticking with it may be challenging.

Research also shows that family undermining of weight loss efforts can impact success. (2)

But the good news is that your partner isn’t your only option for support. You can still lose weight whether your partner is onboard or not. Let’s examine some strategies to safeguard your weight loss plan from an unsupportive partner.

How to Stay Focused on Goals

Why do you want to lose weight? What specific benefits do you hope to achieve? What steps will get you there?

These questions help inform your weight loss goals and keep you focused on the next step of the journey.

Setting clear, actionable goals can protect your efforts. At LSN, we help all our clients outline specific, achievable steps that put their choices in their control. Once the goals are in place, we work to keep the focus squarely on the things that matter.

Here are ways to stay on track:

  1. Write your goals down and post them somewhere you will see them every day. Review and recommit to your intentions each time you see them. This can also serve as a helpful reminder for your partner, especially if you keep your list in a shared space.
  2. Speak your goals out loud. If you’re tempted to ignore your goal, whether by internal or external cues, remind yourself or those around you what you hope to achieve. Use your voice to speak positively about the journey you’re on.
  3. Try journaling. If you’re feeling unsupported in your relationship, write it out. A private journal can be a powerful tool to support yourself and work through what you’re feeling.
  4. Re-evaluate your goals. If you’re struggling to stick with a specific goal, it may be time to change it up. A good goal is challenging but achievable. If what you’re doing isn’t working, break the goal down into smaller steps.

Setting Boundaries Around Food Triggers

Chances are, many of your food habits are centered around triggers at home. For example, maybe at the end of the day, you snuggle on the couch with your partner and the minute you relax you notice how quickly you crave a sweet treat. Or perhaps your partner struggles with emotional binge eating, making it hard for you to break your own cycle of overeating or binge eating too.

These types of habits can be hard to break and even more so if your partner isn’t on board with a change.

If you don’t have your partner’s buy-in, you can still establish your own boundaries to reduce food triggers. Here are a few ideas:

  • Substitute a healthy alternative for the less healthy snacks you used to choose. In an app or with an LSN dietitian, track the new alternative so you know it fits into your weight loss meal plan so you account for the added calories.
  • Identify your own food triggers and tell your partner what they are. Let them know what steps you plan to take to reduce the trigger, so they aren’t taken by surprise.
  • Ask your partner to hold you accountable. Getting them to help you can empower them and inspire their own self-efficacy so that they are capable of not only helping you, but themselves as well!
  • Don’t try to change everything at once. If your partner is struggling to accept your weight loss plan, a lot of drastic changes will likely make things very difficult at home. If possible, start by addressing food triggers at work or during times of the day when you’re not with your partner. As you start to lose weight and feel better, it will give you the confidence and commitment to tackle the areas that unavoidably impact your partner.

Ways to Communicate Your Needs Clearly

Honest communication is the foundation of a good relationship. This is true in every aspect of life with your partner, including food and health.

If your weight loss goals have become a point of contention, the best thing you can do is be open and honest about how the lack of support is affecting you. You may not be able to change your partner’s attitude, but clear communication can create a framework for moving forward.

  • Set up a time to talk with your partner about your weight loss plan. Choose a time when you’re both relaxed and not in the heat of the moment.
  • Share your reasons for improving your health. Highlight why it matters to you but also share ways it can improve your partnership. Having more energy and being at peace in your body is good for everyone.
  • Tell your partner the specific steps you plan to take. Be honest about how that may impact them.
  • Share specific ways you’d like to be supported. It’s possible your partner is being unsupportive because they don’t understand or are unsure of what their role should be. Don’t accuse or blame your partner but gently ask for what you need.
  • Listen to your partner’s concerns and feedback. If possible, brainstorm together to find strategies that work for both of you.

If your partner still struggles to support you after you’ve discussed everything, give them grace as they figure it out.

Now it’s time to focus on what you can control in your weight loss journey.

Finding Outside Support Systems That Help

Supportive relationships are essential to weight loss success. But that doesn’t mean your partner has to be your primary support.

Support comes in many different forms, though it may take some intention to find what you need. Here are some of our top tips for finding supportive relationships that will propel you to weight loss success.

  1. Enlist a trusted family member, friend, or co-worker. Share your specific health goals with someone you know will cheer you on. Ideally, choose someone with whom you are in regular contact so that you can receive consistent support.
  2. Find a walking or exercise partner. Moving your body is one of the most effective ways to stay on track. Making movement a supportive, group activity sweetens the deal and holds you accountable to your goals.
  3. Join a support group, either in person or online, to connect with others who are working to lose weight.
  4. Work with a coach who can support your efforts and help you troubleshoot when you struggle. At LSN we are here for you.

Weight Loss is Possible

Your health is worth prioritizing.

While it can be disappointing to have an unsupportive partner, it doesn’t mean you can’t achieve your weight loss goals. Your partner may not realize it yet, but as you become healthier and happier, it benefits them too. Over time, you may even win them over to embark on their own journey to better health.

Commit to what you need, no matter what’s going on around you.

If you need a supportive partner on your journey, reach out to Lizzy at Lizzy@lizzyswicknutrition.com with the subject line ‘FREEDOM’ to receive a complementary session with Lizzy today!

References:

  1. Jensen MT, Nielsen SS, Jessen-Winge C, Madsen CMT, Thilsing T, Larrabee Sønderlund A, Christensen JR. The effectiveness of social-support-based weight-loss interventions-a systematic review and meta-analysis. Int J Obes (Lond). 2024 May;48(5):599-611. doi: 10.1038/s41366-024-01468-9. Epub 2024 Feb 8. PMID: 38332127.
  2. Wang ML, Pbert L, Lemon SC. Influence of family, friend and coworker social support and social undermining on weight gain prevention among adults. Obesity (Silver Spring). 2014;22(9):1973-1980. doi:10.1002/oby.20814